mental illness

Maybe I’m A Party Pooper… But…

I don’t *get* Halloween. I don’t understand it and I don’t like it. Why do we have a day to celebrate scary things? Where is the joy in scaring people and being petrified? More importantly why have we been bombarded with it since ‘back to school’ left the shelves back in September ? I don’t […]

Why I Might Need to Say Goodbye

Through being in hospital I have come into contact with around a hundred other young people. Possibly more. Some were just brief acquaintances- admitted for a day or so and some I built friendships with.  But there are a lot of people who I won’t stay in contact with post-discharge. I have to let go. […]

Do What You Have To, Get Out That Door

At the bottom of the washing machine is a very unappetising pulp stuck onto the ankle of my jeans. It is one of those days where bailing on checking the pockets of my washing pile has come back to bite me. These sluggish remains of yellow paper have been hiding in the back pockets of […]

Kids in Crisis: The Bits It Missed

Channel 4 recently showed a documentary discussing problems in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, focusing mainly on the country’s overall lack of child inpatient psychiatric beds and lack of early intervention provision. Over the past year I have noticed many news articles and reports on these subjects. But there is one thing I think […]

So Called Safe

Times like this I shouldn’t be here Its not stopping my stress it’s stemming it I’ve been helped alongside the girls who eat tape measures and the boys who breathe fire. But I’m angry that as I lie in bed I’m whispering to my pillow “The door’s locked. The door’s locked. The door’s locked.” And […]

A Non-Definitive List of Things I Will Not Take for Granted Once I Have Left Hospital

I have now been in CAMHS inpatient care for nine months: AKA far too long. I’m now approaching my discharge and, as it edges closer, I become more and more desperate to get out. The gripes and the grudges build up until I just have to make a list. So here it is. A Non-Definitive […]

Bollocks to BPD

Diagnosis ain’t easy. I first heard of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) at Heron. The psychiatrist there seemed to be trying to fill a ward quota of 25% of female patients being diagnosed with BPD. I wasn’t in that percent. The next time I heard it I was sitting in my CPA meeting for professionals. My […]

What to Do When a Mind is Struggling

It’s mental health awareness week! Wahoo! To celebrate, for the first time ever, I opened up my blog to my Facebook friends. I asked what they wanted to see more of- and I got a brilliant response! The thing I want to tackle first is how exactly people can help someone with a mental illness. […]

Borderline

He looked into my eyes and saw the misconnections behind them. I know in fifteen minutes he will make his chair do an audible creek; My queue to leave. I knew I wouldn’t pass this MOT Just like at eleven I didn’t pass my cycling proficiency Because I couldn’t see traffic on my left side […]

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