Tag: BFMH15

Make it Up

Today I left the hospital for a couple of hours. It was not only amazing to be outside and not in a room painted entirely white, but I took the opportunity to do a bit of retail therapy. I spent far too much money… *cough*

But I remembered something that I forgot a long time ago. Spending the last six months in pyjamas with my hair scraped up (because I used the time as a way to grow out the notoriously tricky pixie cut) made the knowledge work its way out of my system. The knowledge that… Make up helps.

I never wore it a lot, but I have always liked treating myself to a little bit of good quality cosmetics now and again. It’s nice. It’s a chance to be what you want to be. Like any feminist; I do find it sad that so many girls hide behind their foundation, scraping on the war paint like a sacred ritual. But as someone who’s current favoured method of hiding involves a duvet and a sleep mask that reads “F*ck Off”- make up is a whole lot healthier.

I treated myself to a nice eye shadow and easy-application eyeliner which unfortunately resembles a Stanley knife. It has been the cause of confusion for more than one nurse as they jump to conclusions and… Discover the tip is silicone. I don’t think it looks too shabby on even with my glasses off. I suppose the challenge is to break the old habits and get a new face on my bad days now…

So tonight has been a rough night on the unit. Bathrooms have flooded, people have runaway and the police have been in. But instead of getting stressed I have applied and reapplied my new eyeliner. Focus. Focus. Focus.

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Why I am In: Blog for Mental Health 2015

I stumbled upon Blog for Mental Health on a friend’s blog. Awareness and general stigma kicking? I’m in!

So here we go:
“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”

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Why I’m in:
I have struggled with mental illness for the last five years. I have struggled with low mood, self harm, OCD, panic disorder, psychosis and disordered eating during this time and I have had enough! Mental illness is a nasty, manipulative thing. And the worst bit? People can be so unaware and insensitive about its very existence. I have been hospitalised since August 2014 and I write regularly about my experiences as both an inpatient and a CAMHS outpatient service user. I read somewhere that having a mental illness is like fighting in a war where the enemy’s main strategy is to convince you there is no war. I can’t think of anything more truthful. I’ve had friends and family worry about me sharing my story due to the stigma.
“What about employers?”
“Are you sure you want to share this?”
But how else will the stigma be beaten if no one is going to speak out?
I want to live in a world where people can have their mental illness treated and understood just like anyone with a physical illness can. I want workmen when entering inpatient units to not be nervous of the patients. I want mental health screening in schools to save lives. I want my friends to be seen as the warriors they truly are.

For more information head over to: Blog For Mental Health 2015