Noodle the labrador peers through a garden fence

Facing Giants

Blog, My Story

After the saga that was my ‘peer mentoring’ (dis)appointment I didn’t do too great. On the day I posted my blog I ended up being semi-dragged into the walk in at the Community Mental Health Team office. I expected the worst, “WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?!”, and all the other phrases I have become accustomed to.

But it didn’t come. I took one of my support workers and just talked for a bit. I expressed my concerns about having a care co-ordinator who is under the illusion that I am just a disobediant child and how everything felt very hopeless. It was the CPN from the previous meeting and she listened carefully and said she would take it to the Multi Disciplinary Team again the following day.

My phone eventually rang mid afternoon on Friday. I was told that a change of Care Co-Ordinator had been granted and my CCO was now the CPN I had seen as a walk-in. I was over the moon, this CPN had understood me so much better. I cried with relief.

My first appointment with… (time to think of a pseudonym)… Esther… was this afternoon and it went really well. We played the facade of ‘who sits where’ that always comes with a patient and worker entering one of those small white room for the first time; our positions yet to be molded by therapeutic routine. I took the high backed seat nearest the door and hoped dearly that my choice wouldn’t be psycho-analysed. We talked about my moods and how they are erratic and the ‘base work’ that needs to be done whilst I am on the enormous waiting list for therapy. Things like emotional understanding, trigger recognition, crisis prevention and so on. Generally the aim is that I will feel better for a bit before therapy churns everything up again but I should be able to deal with it. We didn’t pick up anything heavy other than the very background details of my trauma. Esther noted down a few of my questions so that she can ask the psychology team. She also reiterated that she will be having supervision from the psychologists following our sessions to make sure she is doing the right things to help me. Again with the complex case stuff: cringe.

It might be my ‘exaggerated moods’ but I feel super happy. Like everything is going to turn out fine. The lions den wasn’t as scary as I feared. The lion has been replaced by Esther the domesticated moggy!


7 thoughts on “Facing Giants

      1. Being weaned off Prozac and started on Lexapro. So far I have broken a door down and got a new therapy guinea pig. he is all black and such a sweetie. No name yet.

  1. I am glad things areon the up for you :).

    When i first got Ushi, we had guinny pigs. Ushi wanted to play with them…or eat them, i don’t know which. But my instructor told me not to have them out when she was about. Glad the hamster is liking Noodle better :).

    Take care,



  2. Ha-ha you are great as helpful as sugar water! Long story short, No human home except me, door knob fell off bedroom door, cell phone not there, grabbed a bureau drawer and smashed in the door to escape!! And, this fifty year old lady does not have Facebook so please keep blogging!!
    Working on a name for little piggy….

Over to you! Leave a Reply.