Through scrubbing my skin my hands become infected.
I was scrubbing at my hands in case they were infected.
I’m too scared to eat in case it makes me ill.
Then not eating makes me ill too.
I use hand gel to kill bacteria.
The gel cracks my skin and it’s infection prone.
I know my night meds make me feel better.
Yet when I take them I panic in case they kill me.
When the thing you use to stop freaking out gives you cause to freak out more; where do you turn?
And to think people think it is about being neat…
Please note: I am safe and okay. Just struggling a bit at the moment. I’m keen to keep the authenticity in this blog and after writing I decided to publish this in my ‘recovery notes’ area. Good news… crisis services (and services in general) are a lot better where I live now!